Its not Godiva and Rom Coms: The 7 natural ways to cure PMS

After a fun filled weekend of bringing the funk with a friend at a George Clinton concert and eating a mushroom roll that changed my life at the soft opening of Dallas’s highly anticipated Uchi restaurant, I have found myself laying in bed and watching a movie on a Sunday afternoon.

I am about an hour in when the lead actress leans in and kisses her hot male best friend whom she has now fallen for and has just realized she is destined to spend her life with. Despite some of the worst acting that I have ever seen and horribly clichéd dialogue, I clutch one of my pillows as if it’s a life raft and I am drowning in the ocean and cry out, “Ahhhh I don’t want to die alone!”

I clearly have Sunday Blues, a condition that I have suffered from for decades. I remember every Sunday in college my roommate, Kim, and I breaking out the Baked Lays and French Onion Dip, watching movies in silence, and eating so much that we would literally get sores in the corners of our mouths.

Chip sores, we would call them, wounds from trying to soothe the dread of returning back to the grind of Monday and away from our weekend of fun.

My father always stated that Sunday Blues were for people who partied too much—losers, really—and that any really productive person should look forward and excited to Monday morning.

With my father’s words in mind, I start to feel a little bit guilty about the fact that this love scene is actually part of the fifth rom-com that I have watched just today and that I have also eaten half a quart of Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia.

I stop my almost-fake tears, kick off my covers and jump out of bed. My feet hit my floor hard and the motion bounces my breasts up and down. As I walk towards my bathroom, with each step they hurt more and more and I realize based on this pain and the date that I’m four days away from my period. This isn’t just Sunday Blues, this is PMS! I immediately feel a wave of guilt lift off of my shoulders.

I am not a LOSER! It is totally normal for me to feel this way during this time of the month.

Many people often have fluctuation of mood the week before their cycle, as well as physical changes. These changes typically occur five days before menstruation and conclude within four days after menses has begun.

The most common psychological symptoms include:

1. depressive symptoms; sadness, irritability, crying spells (sometimes to Hillary Duff movies)
2. anxiety (am I loser? am I loser? Oh my gosh, what if I am a loser?)
3. confusion (Wait, what?…who is a loser?)
4. social withdrawal (how many texts did I just ignore?)
5. poor concentration
6. sleep disturbances: insomnia (increased nap taking)
7. changes in sexual desire (important for people with a sex life and not loners on Netflix binges)

The most common physical symptoms include:

1. thirst and appetite changes/food cravings (no comment)
2. breast tenderness
3. bloating and weight gain (finally something to blame it on)
4. Headache
5. swelling of the hands or feet (God I am puffed)
6. aches and pains
7. fatigue (yes! its almost time for another nap)
8. skin problems
9. gastrointestinal symptoms and abdominal pain.

Why does this happen?: What happens during your normal cycle is that fourteen days prior to your menses you ovulate, and with ovulation there is a surge of a hormone called progesterone. When that egg is not fertilized by sperm, it disintegrates and the progesterone drops—it’s this drop in progesterone that leads to these feelings and symptoms. That’s why you usually see the symptoms the week prior to your menstrual cycle. If you are having these symptoms throughout the month (and not just on a Sunday after a wild weekend), it’s not PMS and therefore, not related to your cycle. Something else is going on.

How can you tell if these symptoms are caused by PMS or related to your menstrual cycle or if something else is going on?: By tracking it on your calendar. PMS symptoms typically occur the week before your cycle starts.

Other common conditions that can cause the same symptoms include: depression, anxiety, perimenopause (for women a little older than myself), chronic fatigue syndrome, irritable bowel syndrome, thyroid disease. So if you experience these symptoms unrelated to your cycle in terms of timing. Don’t assume that it’s “your hormones,” talk to your doctor.

What can you naturally do to help PMS symptoms?:

1. Exercise: Although it is often the last thing on your mind during this time period, it does seem to really make a difference. And not just during your PMS days or during your period, but in general, people who exercise regularly tend to have better PMS symptoms.
2. Relax!: Techniques such as yoga, breathing and meditation also seem to alleviate the symptoms.
3. Sleep: try to get at least eight hours of sleep in the few days before your cycle and during.
4. Take Calcium: Taking 1,200 mg a day can help reduce the physical and mood symptoms that are part of PMS. (So perhaps my Ben and Jerry’s fro yo isn’t a bad idea?)
5. Taking Magnesium: may help reduce water retention or bloating, breast tenderness, and mood symptoms.
6. Change your diet: no, Godiva and Domino’s isn’t the change I am referring to. You should eat a diet rich in complex carbohydrates. Complex carbohydrates are found in foods made with whole grains, like whole wheat bread, pasta, and cereals. Other examples are barley, brown rice, beans, and lentils. Also add calcium-rich foods, like yogurt and leafy green vegetables, to your diet. Reduce your intake of fat, salt, and sugar. Avoid caffeine and alcohol. So as you see, what feels natural to do is actually only making the situation worse!
7. Be wary of PMS pills: there is a ton of advertised PMS meds and supplements on the market. Some of these things work, some don’t, so I would always ask your doctor.

Luckily my premenstrual symptoms aren’t that severe, just some boob pain and a desire to lie around, cry absurdly and eat a lot. But now, my Sunday Blues guilt is quickly replaced with guilt in knowing that I am doing nothing that will actually help my PMS symptoms in any way. So I kill the Netflix, put on five sports bras, take some deep breaths and attempt to take my bloated ass around the block.

Happy Sunday Funday!