I’ve had an abnormal pap smear too: The real deal about HPV and the Gardasil vaccine

I have read all of the BuzzFeed and Elite.com lists about your twenties vs. your thirties only to find that I am somewhere in between. I am professionally responsible and I own my own condo, yet I still don’t know how to do my own taxes, I spend most Friday nights out with girlfriends, and I have been known to purchase a new dress on a Saturday afternoon to wear later that evening because I have forgotten to drop off my dry cleaning.

The one thirties-ish thing I have mastered is picking better men to date. Granted I am single, but I haven’t dated anyone since I hit the big 3-0 that could even compare to the a-hole I dated for three years in my mid-twenties.

He was awful. He drank too much, he lied, he called old girlfriends behind my back, he semi-cheated, (“we were on a break”) and last, but not least, he gave me a strain of HPV that led to an abnormal pap smear.

I was in my third year of residency when my OBGYN, a kind, bright, girl-next-door blonde with a runner’s body and crystal blue eyes who also happened to be my former chief resident broke the news, “Pari, your Pap smear came back abnormal and it shows evidence of HPV virus. I am going to have to do a colposcopy.”

Abnormal?? HPV?? My heart stopped.

I was a “good girl.” I didn’t have casual sex or one night stands. To be honest, I was practically a virgin compared to most people my age.

            And now I was going to die of cervical cancer because of this idiot????

As a gynecologic resident, I knew that an abnormal Pap smear is very common and that it is very rare for one to actually progress to cervical cancer, but I couldn’t think straight.

I was also aware that HPV—Human Papilloma Virus— although sexually transmitted was also very common. About eighty percent of the population comes in contact with HPV at some point in their life and you do not have to be promiscuous to catch it.

After I calmed down and re-entered reality, we went ahead and did my colposcopy, a microscopic exam and biopsy of the cervix, which is usually recommended after an abnormal pap smear. That procedure was very unpleasant and the results unfortunately came back abnormal, but luckily after two years it was gone.

Everybody knows someone who has had an abnormal Pap smear like myself—or worst, cervical cancer. So here are some quick facts on the virus that leads to it all:

1. There are hundreds of types of HPV, about fifteen strains that are considered high-risk and are associated with cervical cancer, and several that cause genital warts.
2. The ones that can lead to abnormal pap smears do not lead to genital warts and the ones that lead to genital warts do not lead to cervical cancer.
3. Although HPV is a sexually transmitted disease, it is not one that you have to be promiscuous or engage in any high-risk behavior to contract. As stated, eighty percent of the population will come in contact with HPV at some point in their life.
4. The strains that lead to abnormal pap smears do not cause symptoms in men. So basically you just have to have sex once with an unknowing partner (like my ex-idiot) and you could be exposed.
5. It takes on average eight months by the time you are exposed to high-risk HPV to have an abnormality and it takes on average about two years to clear it.
6. You cannot pass it back and forth. Once you are exposed your body deals with it on its own.
7. The way to screen for high-risk HPV and abnormalities of your cervix is to get your Pap smear.

The one thing that I should have done prior to this whole scenario was get Gardasil, the HPV vaccine. Gardasil protects against four types of the HPV virus: 16 and 18, which lead to 75 percent of abnormal pap smears and 6 and 11, which lead to 90 percent of genital wart infections.

I went ahead and had the injections after my diagnosis. It would not treat what had already happened, but I also knew that it could possibly prevent further infections if I were to ever to be exposed to other strands of HPV.

Gardasil has three doses. It is recommended for ages nine to twenty-six for all boys and girls.

You don’t fall off a cliff at twenty-six, nor does the vaccine stop working, that is just the age range of participants that the studies were performed on so that is what the FDA recommends and therefore, insurance will cover.

There are a few common responses that I receive from patients as to why someone doesn’t want to get the vaccine or why their mother has told them not to:

1. “I have a boyfriend, fiancé, or husband…”: Well I always respond by saying that is great, but you don’t have a crystal ball. To be harsh, even if your partner doesn’t have it and you are madly in love, y’all could break up, or he could—heaven forbid—pass away, get shipped off to war never to return, or get abducted by aliens. You just don’t know what the future holds, but this gives you the opportunity to protect yourself against a virus that causes cancer. So why wouldn’t you?

2.They aren’t sexually active: Then that’s perfect! They haven’t been exposed yet.

3.It encourages sexual activity: It’s not going to inject you or your daughter or son with a whopping dose of lowered inhibitions and poor decision- making. If a women decides to engage in sexual intercourse at any age it is her choice and no vaccine, sexual education, or free condom is gonna spur her to jump into bed with the next dude she meets. Unless of course she leaves the doctor’s office and runs smack into Ryan Gosling. Bottom line, it’s not an aphrodisiac, it’s a vaccine.

4.Vaccines are bad for you (my personal fave): The only known side effects of Gardasil are the same with any other vaccine; redness, soreness at the injection site, lightheadedness. Rarely people may have an allergic reaction to it. The researchers of this vaccine worked years and years trying to create it and nothing passes lightly through the FDA. You have to trust that. No quality research currently exists that says anything different about this vaccine or any other. There is a reason we aren’t dying of Small Pox and Polio anymore: VACCINES. So let’s try and stop dying of cervical cancer too.

I suppose something else you realize in your thirties that you may not appreciate in your twenties, is that life is fragile. You aren’t unbreakable and you need to take preventative measures and responsibility for your health. So if there is one thing that this thirty-something-old could look back and tell her twenty- year-old self it would be to get Gardasil!

Oh… and dump that dude. He is awful.